Friday, April 8, 2011

The Types of Abusive Men

"Look, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to you.  You think that just because you don't yell, you're not mean? This is mean!"
                                                                                         -Knocked Up
The chapter in Bancroft's book titled the Types of Abusive Men interested me for a couple of reasons.  First, I think it is important to understand that abuse does not happen in a cookie cutter way.  In fact, there are no cases of abuse that exactly the same.  Second, it is important to understand that there is not a single "type" of man who is abusive.  They can be of any race, age, religion etc.  There is no way of looking at a man and knowing they are abusive.  This chapter helps clarify the different types of abusive men as well as the different types of abuse.
I had no idea there were so many different kinds of abusive men.  Bancroft breaks down the types into 10 different forms based on two thousand men studied.  They are:
*The Demand Man
*Mr. Right
*The Drill Sergeant
*Mr. Sensitive
*The Player
*The Victim
*The Terrorist
*The Mentally Ill or Addicted Abuser
Abusive men are often to fall into more than one of these classifications and they may not fall into any.  Abuse is different for every man.  Although the types of abuse are different, they all have the same core similarities.  "Assaults on the woman's self-esteem, controlling behavior, undermining her independence, disrespect."  I think it is important to understand that nearly any man can be abusive.  There is not a "type" of man to look out for, anyone has the capacity to be abusive.

I found this website very informative, in particular, the section headed "Violent and abusive behavior is the abuser's choice."  It breaks down different forms of abuse that abusive partners use.  It does a nice job of driving home some of the main ways Bancroft covered on how men abuse their partners.

This site is particularly valid to the types of abusive men because it talks in depth about verbal abuse.  Verbal abuse is used as a manipulative degrading tactic by all types of abusive men and is commonly thought of as the worst form of abuse.

This site offers a deeper understanding of three different types of abusive men: the rapist, the incestuous offender, and the wife batterer.  Each of these kinds of abusers have a different persona that are similar to the ones outlined by Bancroft.     

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